I don’t care whether you consider yourself a little, a slave, a pet, or any other term. You are a partner. You share responsibility in your relationship. To value yourself as less than your Dominant is to throw away your power.
D/s is not about a difference in value, it’s about a mutually agreed upon arrangement of authority. Your Congressman isn’t better than you are. He requires a mandate to give him authority. So does your Dominant.
The Ultimate Guide to Sex Toys
Sex toys are a major aspect of many people’s sexuality, either on their own or with partners. Whether it’s a large collection of everything from anal beads to fucking machines or a single cheap bullet vibrator hidden in your nightstand, mostly everyone who is exploring their sexuality uses (or has curiosity about using) sex toys at some point. While sex toys are not for everyone, most sexual people love the added fun of bringing a toy into their sex life—or even keeping toys for solo use. Whatever you’re looking for, hopefully this post will serve as a guide to choosing, using, and maintaining the sex toy(s) right for you!
NOTE: If you purchase any toys from EdenFantasys, which I link repeatedly in this guide, be sure to use the code “V2V" at checkout under "partner codes" for 15% off your entire purchase. You may use and share this code as much as you wish, as it has no expiration. Also be sure to look into their free shipping options, as well as their free gifts.Vibrators
Vibrators are mostly used with people who have vulvas, though some people enjoy the vibrating sensations on their penis or testicles. Vibrators come in all shapes and sizes and can be used internally, externally, or both at the same time. Every vibrator has some kind of motor that is powered by standard batteries, a rechargeable battery, or an outlet.
For materials, I recommend silicone and hard plastic. These are non-porous options that will make cleaning much easier. Simply wash with antibacterial soap and warm water, making sure not to get any water inside the toy, as that can damage the motor. Toy sprays and wipes can also be used for quick clean-ups, but I recommend condoms if you’re going to be sharing these between partners, just to make things easier.
Internal vibrators penetrate the vagina. Some have a curved head that can be used to simulate the g-spot. They can have any kind of texture or vibrating patterns you can imagine. Usually, a vibrator is a typical choice for someone with a vagina’s first sex toy purchase.
- Beginners: Often first-time vibrators are cheap. They are usually made of plastic of PU-coated plastic. This type of material is relatively safe, but shouldn’t be shared, as it cannot be completely sterilized. When looking for a first-time vibrator keep size, material, texture and functions in mind. I suggest something traditional and smooth such as this, this, or this.
G-Spot: G-spot vibrators are more advanced and have a curved head to access the zone at the front base of the pelvis that is referred to as “The G-Spot”. This can cause more intense orgasms and/or squirting. I suggest trying toys like this, this, or this.
The Very Best: The best of the vibrator-world is going to be more expensive, but you also get safer materials, more functions, and better features. If you can afford to save up some money, I highly suggest you go for the gold. Some of my favourites are this, this, and this. Tantus also sells high quality vibrating dildos such as Duke, Echo, and Goddess.Options to Look For:
External vibrators can be used to stimulate the vuvla, specifically the clit, as well as the penis or testicles. External vibes usually come in two forms: the bullet and the wand.
Bullets are small vibrators that usually have a rounded or pointed head to use precision around the clitoris. Wands, on the other hand, are usually much larger and more powerful.
For materials, plastic and silicone works best, but you’ll find that some models, such as the Hitachi, have a more porous head to them. This means condoms are required if you’re going to be sharing between partners. For cleaning, sprays and wipes work best, here, because it’s easy to accidentally damage the motor by letting water drip inside. Wiping it down with a cloth dipped in warm, soapy water also works fine if you’re not sharing these toys.
- Beginners: I suggest bullets to beginners because a) they’re cheaper and b) they aren’t as intense as wands, which can sometimes overstimulate people who are new to heavy vibrations on sensitive areas. Some cheap options are things like this, this, or this. If you’re looking for higher quality bullets, try Tantus’s silicone series like this, this, or this.
The Very Best: Wands are really useful toys for people who like high-intensity vibration—also know as “power queens”. They can be charged and used wirelessly or have plugs that go directly into the outlet while you use them. The most popular toy of all time, in my opinion is the Hitachi, which I have a comically-intense review of here. Some other awesome options are the Mood Fantastic and the Fairy Wand.Options to Look For:
- Rechargeable VS Corded.
Rabbits are a fun combination of internal and external vibrations. They typicall have an internal vibrator with an external attachment to stimulate the clitoris. They’re called “rabbits” because these attachments are typically shaped like a rabbit’s head, with the ears used to tease the clit. It’s important to note that no animals are harmed in the proper use of these toys.
While rabbits are pretty awesome in theory, their downfall is usually the poor material they are made of. Most rabbits are made of jelly, TPE, TPR, or PVC, which are all porous materials. While you can use these with condoms, I recommend saving up just a little bit more for the silicone options, because they are much safer and better in quality. Cleaning is also much easier with silicone and there’s no condom required for solo-use. Simply wash with antibacterial soap and warm water, making sure no water gets inside the motor. Toy sprays and wipes are also good options. Don’t forget to wipe down the rabbit, too!
- Beginners: Even beginners should avoid the materials listed above. Silicone is really the best way to go, and it’s worth the extra money to avoid those potential infections. Try silicone models like this, this, this, or this.
- The Very Best: The best rabbits are usually rechargeable and have more options than some other rabbits. Some even rotate or thrust! Check out this and this—and of course, my personal favourite, the Vanity line by Jopen.Options to Look For:
Dildos are toys for penetration that don’t vibrate—though some have a spot to insert bullet vibrators in order to get that effect. They are usually phallic-shaped but are in no way restricted to only looking like penises. They come in tons of shapes and sizes, so your options are truly limitless. There’s a company called Bad Dragon that even creates dildos to look like dragon penises!
For dildos, I recommend using only silicone, glass, or steel. Like vibrators, lots of dildos are made out of materials that are not body-safe. Silicone, glass, and steel are your best options for finding a dildo that works well and is also safe for you to insert into your body.
Size is also something to look at when purchasing a dildo. While most vibrators have standard sizes, there is a lot of range with dildos. 1”-1.5” in diameter is the range for most people starting out, though more advanced users can fall within the 1.5”-2” diameter range. People who enjoy toys less than 1” or over 2” in diameter are going to have a much harder time finding toys that work for them.
Keep in mind that the dildos I am discussing and linking to in this section are for vaginas. Not all of them will be suitable for anal play, so be sure to check the anal section below here for more on that!Silicone
Silicone is known for its velvety-smooth texture. Not only is it one of the safest materials, it’s also one with a lot of diversity. Silicone dildos can be super soft or extra firm—or even squishy enough to feel an actual penis without losing that “hardness” required for comfortable penetration.
- Beginners: Many of the dildos I recommend for beginners are more firm in texture. They’re still super smooth, but the firmness is better for people who are just starting out with penetrative toys. I suggest products like this, this, or this for more standard, traditional dildos. Or if you want one that has an optional insertable bullet for some vibrations, try this.
- The Very Best: My absolutely favourite thing to recommend to people aside from the Hitachi (mentioned above, in external vibrators) is VixSkin. Vixskin is a company that makes amazing toys out of super high-quality silicone that feels absolutely fantastic. I recommend this most to people who like a “life-like” experience of a real penis, or those who just don’t like their dildos too firm. VixSkin is on the softer side, but works perfectly well during penetration. Going up in size, I recommend Mustang (1.25” diameter), Goodfella (1.5” diameter), and Maverick (2” diameter). In addition, the O2 line by Tantus is amazing. Adam is highly recommended, as is their Flurry O2 (1.5” diameter) and Cush O2 (1.75” diameter).
Glass dildos are so unique! Not only are they absolutely gorgeous, they’re also really diverse in texture. Some are completely smooth and others have all kinds of crazy surface textures to drive you wild.
Glass is a super safe material that is easily to clean and can even be used for temperature play. Simply run under warm water or stick it in the freezer for an even more exciting session.
Glass can be completely sterilized, too, so sharing isn’t a problem. Simply soak them in a 10% bleach solution, boil for five minutes, or stick them in the top rack of a dishwasher for total sterilization. You can also clean them by hand with soap and water, toy wipes, or toy sprays if you’re not sharing them.
Keep in mind that glass is a hard material and may not be suitable for people who like soft toys. Be careful when thrusting with glass toys, as you can bruise your cervix if you go too hard.
- Beginners: For beginners, I recommend some smooth toys. However, if you want to jump into trying out some textures, go for it! Some good options for beginners looking to get feel for the material without too much texture are things like this, this, or this.
- The Very Best: What’s going to be the best depends on what kind of texture you like, if any. Some common options with glass are things like bubbles, spiralsbumps, and twists.
Steel is a more advanced material and usually much more expensive. However, it has all the features of glass (from the easy cleaning and sterilization to the ability to use it for temperature play) and some added weight. They also come in larger sizes than glass typically comes in.
- Beginners: For beginners, I would suggest they try glass before investing in the more expensive steel options. Also, start smaller and work up to larger toy. Try this probe or the Fun Wand for your introduction to steel.
- The Very Best: A really good toy for more advanced users is the Pure Wand. It’s great for g-spot action! Also, for those looking for a larger toy, the Eleven goes up to 2” in diameter.
Anal play is a great thing to try if you haven’t already. Because everyone has a butt, almost everyone can safely play with anal toys.
Some things to keep in mind are materials and size. Be sure the toy you use is body-safe and able to be sanitized. Also keep in mind that the anus is relatively small, though it does stretch. However, stretch may take some practice and working up to, so don’t jump into large toys without starting off small.
Plugs are often people’s first anal toy. They come in lots of different shapes, sizes, and materials. Plugs are usually no more than three or four inches long, and have a large, wide base to them.
Because they are smaller than dildos, plugs can be worn for extended periods of time and can even be worn under clothing in public or around the house.
Material-wise, I again suggest only silicone, glass, or steel because these are the safest materials available. Silicone is especially good for beginners because it is lighter and more comfortable than glass or steel.
- Beginners: Beginnerplugs are for people who have never experienced anal play and would like to start small. Some great options are this, this, and this. Or try the Beginner’s Kit. If you’re feeling adventurous or have a little experience, try the small Pure Plug.
- Intermediate: Intermediates include people who have had small plugs and/or engage in anal play or anal sex with their partners. Try something like this, this, this, or this. The medium Pure Plug is also a fantastic option.
- Advanced: Advanced plugs are for people who have experience with plugs and anal play and are looking for bigger options. Try the large Pure Plug if you like steel and heavier plugs. If you want to stick with silicone, go for something like this or this. You can also look into vibrating options like this one.BeadsAnal beads are a very simple toy. They’re long toys with bubble or bead-like textures that go further into the body than plugs, and are pulled out with a cord or handle on the end. Play safe and pull gently, though! Ripping the cord would be very bad.Silicone is the only material I would suggest for these beads. Absolutely no jelly or other porous materials! Some awesome options are products like this, this, this, or this. All of those products are motor-less, waterproof, body-safe options to play with.DildosAnal dildos differ from vaginal dildos in the sense that they have a flange. A flange is a wide base that keeps the toy from going too far inside your body. Lots of people use vibrators or dildos that have no base and end up in the emergency room to get toys removed, which isn’t really fun for anyone involved. So, be sure to use a dildo that specifically has a wide base if you’re going to use it anally.Furthermore, dildos with a base can absolutely be used for vaginal play. However, if you’re going to switch from anal to vaginal use on a toy you need to sanitize it or use a condom. Vaginas will get infected very easily if you go from anal to vaginal use with the same toy so be sure to clean and keep safe!
Like vaginal dildos, I only recommend silicone, glass, or steel toys for safety reasons. These are the only materials you can sanitize, which is a feature you want—especially in anal toys.
- Beginners: Start small and work up! Something like Your Highness is an excellent starter toy for anal. Then you can work up to more traditional dildos like this or anal toys like this.
- The Very Best: The “best” toy in this sense is just something of a higher quality silicone. These types of toys feel much better, especially anally. Things like this or this are great options due to the large bases on them.P-Spot StimulatorsP-spot stimulators are anal toys that stimulate the prostate. People who have prostates may come to find that stimulating that area can result in very powerful orgasms. These toys are specifically designed to access that area.
- Beginners: BMS Enterprises has a line called “LUX” that includes some awesome prostate massagers. For beginners, I recommend the LX-1 or LX-2 models. Also check out Tantus’s Prostate Health Vibrator.
Masturbators are sex toys for people with penises. They come in all different styles and textures to help achieve orgasm easier. Silicone masturbators are rare to come across so the next material you should look for is thermoplastic rubber (TPR/TPE). While this material isn’t able to steralize, it is safe enough to use with proper cleaning (soap and warm water) and not sharing the toy.
Masturbation sleeves are the most common toy for people with penises. They have various textures in a soft material and work by controlling pressure, usually by squeezing an outer tube.
Some options include basic models like this or this. Tantus has a high-quality silicone Stroker and an XL version. Fleshlight also creates toys that are modeled after porn stars such as Jenna Haze, Teagan Presley, and Jesse Jane.
Realistic models are also available, but usually cost a lot more. These usually take the shape of an actual torso and offer a more realistic feel for some people. They are like smaller, more realistic “fuckdolls”. Popular models include this, this, and this.
Strap-ons are mainly used for penetrative sex with two people who have vaginas, but can also be used for double-penetration with a penis, or with someone in chastity.
The most common use of a strap-on is with a harness that attaches around the waist and has a base in front of the pelvis for a dildo. Most work with o-rings of varying sizes to adjust for dildo girths but some work with something called “vac-u-lock.”
- Harnesses with o-rings require a dildo with a flange (flared base) to work properly.
- Some standard harnesses include models like this, this, or this.
- You can also find harnesses in plus sizes.
- There are also specific types of harness for other areas of the body like feet and thighs.
Another option for strap-on sex is a strapless strapon. Instead of having a harness, these types of toys have one end that goes inside the vagina that balances another dildo on the outside for penetration. Feeldoe is a popular brand for this type of strap-on, but models like this, this, and this also work quite well.
I hope this post provides some guidance on your next sex toy purchase. If you have any additional questions, feel free to message me. A guide covering-kink toys will be coming in the future, so stay tuned for that if you’re looking for information on toys used for BDSM.
Newly updated with even more toys recommendations!
What are buttplugs made of? What types of lube can be used with them?
- Rubber - Water-based lube
- Latex - Water-based lube
- Silicone - Water-based lube
- Glass - silicone lube, water-based lube
- Steel - silicone lube, water-based lube
- Wood - silicone lube, water-based lube
It’s best to avoid rubber toys since they tend to be cheap but if you’re looking for a beginner buttplug to start off with it and you’re low on money, they’re not a bad option. Just be aware that they’re not as sanitary as the other options even when properly washed. Rubber is a porous material so it’s easier for bacteria and chemicals to get trapped in these pores.
Never use silicone-based lube on silicone toys. The lube will eat away at the material and create pores that ruin the toy and make it harder to clean. Most silicone toys aren’t that cheap either so it’s not worth the fuss.
If you see a plug made in China there’s a chance they are not phthalates-free which means you should avoid at all costs.
Avoid lubes that contain anesthetics. While you may think that having something that will numb you will make it easier to take the plug, it can be dangerous in cases of accidental injury.
If you’re having a tough time taking the plug, do not force it in. Use plenty of lube and work it in gently. If you’re feeling pain or it just won’t go in, there’s a chance that you have a toy that’s too big for you and you may want to work your way up with fingers or beginner plugs.
Always wash your plugs after each use. Anti-bacterial soap and warm water will do just fine with water-based lubes, other lubes may require a bottle of a toy cleaner.
For more information please visit TheHealthyBear.
Where to buy tailplugs?
The Shibari Mermaid by Unique Nudes
You Tumblr guys really seemed to love the Shibari Mermaid stuff, so before I post the link of all the images for sale I thought it was only fair if I gave you a preview of some of them, as I know many of you do not follow my deviantART account.
Some specifics: We used 375 feet of rope to complete this entire design. There was a paramedic on site, two additional safety team members on the surface and one more intern underwater monitoring with a camera. PLEASE do not try this yourself without a proper team in place!!
Consent is one of the biggest themes of BDSM—if you don’t know that, you really need to read up before you pick up a paddle. BDSM is built on a system that is referred to as “SSC”. “SSC” stands for “safe, sane, and consensual.”
Let’s break that down further:
- Safe: Safety means understanding the risks of the activities you engage in with your partners (or even solo!). It means reading up on the subjects you’re interested in or talking to people who have experience in those areas. It means making your partner(s) aware of any physical, medical, or psychological limitations you have. It also means that all parties involved are aware of the risks of what they are going to experience within a scene.
- Sane: “Sanity,” in this context, is going to be defined by the official distinction between things like masochism/sadism and Sexual Masochism/Sadism Disorder. That difference is made by establishing a healthy mindset on one’s behaviour in regards to BDSM. To meet the standard of being “psychologically healthy” when it comes to S&M, the subject must not experience distress over their urges that affects their daily life and all partners of the subject must be consenting to their activity.
- Consensual: This covers all other aspects of consent, including an excitably expressed “yes!” in regards to sexual activity, regardless of one’s personal relationship with their partner. Remember that an absence of a “no” does not equal a “yes” and intimidation for a “yes” equates to assault. Also remember that all drugs and alcohol revoke one’s ability to consent to sexual activity. Always play sober to avoid problems!
So, now that the basics of consent are established, here are some helpful tips when it comes to maintaining a healthy relationship:
- Always keep open communication with your partner when it comes to safety concerns, regardless of whether or not you feel it’s relevant.
- Before any play takes place, you should require that limitations and a safeword is established. If you don’t want a set “safeword,” remember that “no” and “stop” are always safewords unless specifically stated otherwise.
- Discuss consent in the context of your relationship. Let your partner know that you are continuously respecting their rights by asking for consent before you engage in sexual activity.
That last one tends to trip people up. Even though consent should be your number-one concern, some people are nervous about turning off their partner by talking about it.
First point, if your partner is turned off or annoyed by the idea of you respecting their consent or establishing your own—RUN. This is a huge red flag that cannot be ignored. No sane person should ever get upset that someone wants to discuss consent in a sexual relationship.
If you really don’t know how to bring it up, try these simple phrases that can be used, even in the context of a D/s:
- "Do you like that, little one?"
- "Show me how you like it, Sir."
- "Would you like me to…"
- "What would you like to do to me, dear?"
- "Tell me what’s on your dirty mind, girl."
- "Master, how would you feel about…"
Consent is not only mandatory, but it can also be used in a way that makes play more fun, like instructing your shy submissive to tell you everything they want done to them or asking your Dominant if they would like to engage in certain activities. Consent can be sexy, but it’s always necessary, regardless. Keep that in mind.
This was at the top of K&P over on FetLife, and I haven’t seen anyone mention it here. I think sometimes we lose ourselves in the amazing aspects of kink, in the sense of camaraderie and feeling like finally we belong somewhere.
There are terrible things that sometimes happen, and I think it’s just as important to acknowledge those as it is to enjoy the beautiful sides of our community.
A woman by the name of Shirley Beck was beaten to death by her roommates, over the course of 4 hours. How this ties into our community is the fact that there was a BDSM relationship between she and her other roommates as their ‘house slave,’ all of which is being discussed in the trial.
It’s a tragic story, and it is also not the first time that something like this has occurred. I feel like it would be doing the victims of these crimes an injustice to not acknowledge what happened, or to not take the chance to remind ourselves that there are very real risks in what we do. Plenty of abusers hide behind the facade of BDSM, and sometimes it can be very difficult to distinguish between the predators and those who genuinely care.
The story is heartbreaking, the fact that so much abuse masquerades as BDSM is terrifying, and sometimes it’s important to give ourselves a wake up call.
Consent, taking caution with whom we give control of ourselves to, taking the time to learn about ourselves and our partners, taking the time to safely do these wonderful things we do, they’re all so vital and they are what keeps us from crossing the line of consensual BDSM and abuse.
There’s another article for those who don’t have a FetLife account which can be viewed here.
Please keep in mind that both articles contain graphic details of the crime, and are disturbing and tragic.
I’ve been seeing some little boy hate, and we at the Playground do not agree with any little discrimination. No matter what skin color, what gender, what sexuality, what anything, a little is a little.
Anonymous said: Question about anal. My girlfriend and I both really want to try anal but every time we do it, it hurts her. She doesn't bleed or anything and we use a ton of lube and we've tried multiple positions. I've fingered her before as well. I guess it's just a low pain tolerance. She said that I shouldn't stop when she tells me to because she wants to get past the pain but is that a good idea? Should we just go on past it or do something different?
Ok, I’ve gotten a few questions on anal lately, and let me share some thoughts.
First, you need to understand anatomy. Critically, there are tight sphincter muscles that can be torn if you are careless or too rough. Also, there is a right angle to getting something in someone’s ass. Point it too much toward the bellybutton or too much toward her spine, and it’s eye-wateringly painful in a bad way. Get it right, and it slides in with a pleasant fullness, if she is properly relaxed. Third, the musculature of her ass is different than her pussy. A vagina is designed to hold and clench a penis along its full length. The pressure points when you fuck her ass (I couldn’t let this get too clinical with terminology, so there you go: “fuck her ass”) are different, and the actual sensation may not be as pleasurable for the penis. (This can be outweighed by the psychological impact of making her feel like a completely owned, used little whore, but I digress.) Last, the vagina is self lubricating (duh) and her ass is not (again, duh). Lube is important. Too much lube is probably just enough.
So, armed with this anal enlightenment, where do you go? I think the first step, grasshopper, is you must understand the anus. Good news: you have one too. Seek first to understand your own anus, its likes and dislikes, and then you may venture forth and conquer the entire anal realm. Yes, get your finger “back there” and play with your ass. Even try inserting something in there, and you’ll see what I mean about the angle. There’s a definite right or wrong, and now you know that. If you’re afraid to do this, especially young guys thing they are too manly for “butt stuff”, then you’re silly. Go back to driving loud cars and strutting your machismo, and try again in a few years when you’re ready to understand a little bit deeper. You cannot fuck the ass unless you understand the ass. The quickest path to understanding is through your own ass. I know no more powerful words of anal wisdom than these.
Ok, so now you’ve explored your own ass, and very likely discovered you like the “butt stuff” yourself. (You’re welcome, by the way.) Girls are oddly nervous about their asses, so the first thing you might want to do is address hygiene. An enema will make the experience more pleasurable for her since it will empty stuff out. (Have you ever tried to stuff a beach towel into a full laundry bag? The laundry bag doesn’t enjoy it and the towel doesn’t fit very well. Some socks might also spill out. Not really what you’re looking for.) Also, if you’re into something slightly humiliating, putting a girl over your knee, opening her ass, and giving her the enema yourself might be just what the doctor ordered. (And you can also speak in the Doctor voice and tell her not to worry, her ass, like the Tardis, is bigger on the inside…) So get that shit cleaned out, and then you’re ready to move on to the warmup phase.
Now, give her ass lots of attention. There are more nerve endings there than almost anywhere else in her body. If you play nicely, you can make her feel really good with fingers and tongue. Probe and explore, but be gentle and take your time. Don’t ignore her pussy and clit either. You want her a pliable, dripping, mindless, wet mess who will just beg for your cock in any of her holes. (Convenient, that.) This might take hours if you do the foreplay right, but remember that her ass is sensitive inside. You don’t want to put too many things too far inside for too long, so a finger… then two… stretching… gently… feel those tight little rings of muscles (there are actually two, but this isn’t really an anatomy lesson) loosen. You want to get them tired… that’s what you’re actually doing.
Then she’s ready for the D. Choose your position, but I’d suggest putting her on her back, if for no other reason than it’s nice to look into a slut’s eyes the first time you fuck her tight little ass. Plus, you can say fun things like “so many guys have looked at this ass. In shorts, in dresses, in skirts, in heels… and now it’s mine.” Good stuff. Then I suggest you lube your cock and her ass, and begin to slowly press into her. Fuck her with just the head of your cock. This can be quite nice… just stretch… slowly… and encourage her to relax… You will probably feel her ass open, and then, involuntarily, squeeze around you, pushing you out. (“Shitting you out”, in the vernacular.) Repeat this a few times… each time her ass will be getting a little bit looser as the muscles begin to fatigue.
Then, one time, when you feel her begin to push out, don’t let her. Instead, push gently but insistently into her. You will feel your cock slip past the ring of muscles and deeper into her. At this point, she may begin to panic when she realizes that even if she tightens her ass, she can’t push you out… the muscles don’t seem to “work right” anymore because of how you are inside her. This insertion should be painless and she should feel wonderfully, pleasantly full.
Stroke her body, but hold her with strong, reassuring hands, as you push more and more of yourself into her. Then give her a minute to adjust, look in her eyes, and say “just move your ass when you are ready to fuck slut. That’s right… let me know… just move your slutty little ass on Daddy’s cock whenever you are ready…” Be patient with her, and when she lets you know… fuck her well.
Last thoughts: the vagina can take a real jackhammering, but the ass, not so much. You probably need to be a bit gentler, and the rump ranger cannot ride too many times in one evening. Many girls find the experience to be incredibly intimate, and there is a real sense of vulnerability in having a cock in your ass. Also, many girls cannot feel the sensation of you cumming in her tight little pussy, but they can feel the warmth and the wetness when you cum in her ass… so that is another bonus. (Practical note: there are practical considerations after you cum in a girl’s ass. Semen has an enema effect. When she asks permission to go to the bathroom, I suggest you let her. You have been warned.) At no point in this process should she be in a lot of pain. In fact, most girls are surprised there can be very little or no pain if she is properly relaxed. Pain is your body’s way of saying something is wrong, and this is not a good thing here. Work with the ass, not against it. Be patient.
Go slow. Use lube. Understand the ass. Be gentle. Have fun.